ICE SKATING!!!

This break was very stressful, which I tried to have fun. I went Ice Skating with one of my friends from High School, Breanne Weaver. She is a great friend that went to Kentucky University. She was one of my good friends in the dump of a school. We had so much fun!

First Christmas Season Blog!!!

This Christmas is going to be one for books, not only is my sister's boyfriend legging the tree, its going to be a white Christmas. Even though the tree is bare in the picture, it will soon be full of ortiments and keepsakes. This Christmas will be one to remember. I will say that our family is not only funny, but is laided back for Christmas. I am looking forward to the family turkey and the stuffing. We will be having Christmas in Vermont this year, and not in New York. I will be trying to make this season enjoyable while i am home for the holiday. There is alot going on this season, since my father is getting deployed in Janurary, but this Christmas will be one for him to remember.

I Gotta Date! From No Where :)

I will tell you that I wasn't looking for a boy this time, one came to me instead. :) There is a Boilogy guy, Jon, he looks like a kid I know from back home. He has blonde, long hair and has lovely brown eyes. Wait did i say Long Blonde Hair, Oh yeah i did mention that!

The reason I met Jon was I was in need of a stapler, casue I needed to staple my paper for Dinning and Kitchen Operations. He was very sweet and nice when I asked for the stapler. He just told me that he didnt need the staple back when I was done. I thought he was so funny when he said this. I even told Kelcey about him. She told me not to get my hopes up about this.

Some time after the first hello, we continues to say hello to each other over time. Every time I saw him in Freer. Did I forget to tell you, while in that class I would secrectly try to watch him. I would stop though to focus on work.. its only if he was standing outside of the doors to the classroom.

Like a couple of weeks ago, I caught him playing a game of pool with his friends, he is a great pool player better then I will ever be! I was thinking that since he was with his friends that he wouldnt say "Hello" to me. I was wrong. He started a conversation with me infront of his friends. We talked for a while, then he left with his friends, I have seen him from time to time after that encounter.
Today though, I saw him in the library today, and he stopped me and started to have a conversation with me. He asked me about my number if I had one. Well I had to break the news to him, that i dont have a number. So instead of my number, I gave him my facebook name.. Once I added him as a friend, he sent me a message on facebook.

"Hey what are you doing tn? If your intersted you should come over, we could watch a movie or chill. I live off campus thou, I dont know if that would be a problemo, let me know :)....."

and so that is what I plan on doing tonight. I hope that these plans work out..

Snow is Here!!

For the first time, for my adirondack experience, I have incountered SNOW! I have been accustom to snow before in Vermont, but i feel like the snow here is different from the snow there. I have noticed that the snow here is fluffy and white. I hope that it stays for a long time, since it started to snow in December and it should have started in October! I cant wait to go sledding with I come back to the college.

Holiday

I have been looking forward for the day that I will be able to go home. I really hope that I can stand on my own pages to my life book. I have been looking forwards to the season of Christmas. I really want to be able to to celebrate Christmas with the family at home.. I miss having Christmas in Vermont with snow. I love to sled in the cold wind. I really think being home for the holiday, to spend Christmas with my dad.

Oooops

I have learned the BIGGEST mistake the only ones choose to make. I hate myself for last night. The crazyness that occured with just three sips of wiskey and two beers. I will NEVER allow this to occur. I have learned that you cant take control with yourself and being. That you will continue to say things that you dont mean. In the mean time I was doing this, I realized I lost the best two things I had going for me. Now as I sit here, I realized that I mess that all up and hurt those people in the process. I wish that I could turn back time and not do the stupid shit I did. I hope that in time they will forgive me..

The time has come for me to reflect on the moments that I have been able to witness over the course of 4 months at college. I have been able to witness the good things and the worst of things. Some of these occurring of events, have been life learning and could also be lessons that I will be able to use further down my journey towards my life goals.

Some of these things could be taken both ways, one of the things that I have to deal with. while I have been here, is moving on and not jump, face first into relationships, that I think are great to begin with, or think that its a good thing to do in the moment, or whether or not to date the person, or one of my comical mistakes that I make, the one of leading a person on. The problem that is dominating me, isn't just hurting the people that are subject to this behavior of mine, its also me.

This mistake that I have taken part on, has taught me not to mess with friend's heads, but also I was playing with fire, or so called my emotions and theirs. This never had a good outcome, this outcome always messed up my feelings for the people that I really cared for. I played so many and I do want to find the courage to sort out what i am feeling and apologize to them. They deserve to be apologized to! They were so great to me, and I feel like i should apologize also the those who I had feelings for me and I am sorry that I ruined it for them.

I really need to figure out what I want in order to have a decent relationship, that I wont CHICKEN out on. That is not the type of relationship, I really want. I really want to be happy with things that have been going on lately. I feel like I should be honest more and be more open with things that are going on or feeling before i embark on my emotions.

The BEST thing that I have incountered here would be the way people are very willing to be my friends. They just jumped into friendships left and right. I really feel welcome here, even when I dont want to be here. I feel I can be myself and be able to have fun. Well not to much fun that is!!!

The other BEST thing is, the teachers really want me to thrive, they really want to help me grather up enough knowledge for me to learn and succeed here. They are very helpful towards me and always friendly towards me in any mood I could be in.

I LOVE PSC!!